Thursday, July 6, 2017

Light Bulb Jokes


Today’s category: Questions
Light Bulb Jokes
      1. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
      Only one since his/her hands are in the air anyway

      2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
      None. God has predestined when the lights will be on. Or… Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the light bulb will decide to change itself.

      3. How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
      CHANGE???????

      4. No. Really, how many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
      At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve thechange and decide who brings the potato salad.

      5. How many neo-evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
      No one knows. They can’t tell the difference between light and darkness.

      6. How many Church of Christ does it take to change a light bulb?
      Six men. One to authorize the change; two to look up the scriptures to see if it’s something Jesus or Paul would approve of; and three to keep the women in submission, i.e. keeping them from giving advice, instructions, or usurping authority over the men.

      7. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
      Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

      8. How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
      One. but for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

      9. How many fundamentalists or independent Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
      Only one because anymore would be compromise and ecumenical standards of light would slip.

      10. How many liberals does it take to change a light Bulb?
      At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

      11. How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
      None. They always use candles.


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Date: July 06, 2017 at 09:01PM
From: “ChristiansUnite Christian Joke of the Day”
via original RSS feed: http://ift.tt/2tOJ3iY
Reposted by: To Live Like Jesus Clothing Company
Category: Joke of the Day

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